H/T Patty Golden.



Be safe and drink responsibly.


Please, take care of yourself.  A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and various Departments of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.  This means that the remaining 77% are caused by the assholes who drink bottled water, coffee, soda, juice, energy drinks and shit like that.  These are the same dumbasses who think they can talk on their cellphone, breastfeed the twins, read the paper and drink their coffee while they are driving.


Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol.  They cause three times as many accidents.  As always, I have a solution.  Keep a sack of ball bearings or marbles where you can grab a handful without becoming distracted.  Loft them out your window at about 50 MPH.  They will get one good bounce off the pavement and shotgun the car behind you.  Try to make sure it isn't a police officer.

90% of success is showing up.  Getting the math right is the other 50%.

Aut viam inveniam aut  faciamaut viam inveniam aut faciam.

Leave a Reply